1st and 10%

PLAYOFF LOOK

2008-11-16T20:46:00.000-08:00

Projections:
1.Steve: 8-3 1087
1.Tarheel: 8-3 1017
1.Yellow: 8-3 941

4.Boom: 7-4 1027
4.Crazy: 7-4 919

6.Blue: 5-6 899

7.Donkey: 4-6-1 873

8.BOHICA: 4-7 1028

Number 1 and Number 2 seeds:
Scuba Steve controls his own destiny to get the nod for the number one spot. He plays the other two managers who share the top spot with him.
In reality, the top 2 spots is completely up for grabs and will most likely come down to a point tiebreaker to determine it.

Number 3-5 seeds:
The next 3 spots are rather insignificant. Boom has a chance to get the top spot, but all 3 of the teams tied for first right now would have to finish 1-1 (they can't finish 0-2) AND Boom Boom would have to gain significant ground (about 60 points) on the total points scored.

The Last Spot:
The real drama lies with Bluegrass, Donkey, and BOHICA.
As the chants "We Believe" come from the BOHICA staff, the players don't seem to be up for the challenge as they averaged just 3.9 points per this week.
If Bluegrass wins out, he's in.
However, if BOHICA wins out, he could be in. With a match-up against Maestro next week and then a head to head against Bluegrass the final week, it is possible.
Donkey will need to win out to get in. The only way he could get in without winning out is if BOHICA loses to Maestro and beats Bluegrass in the final week.
Donkey plays 2 good teams the last 2 weeks (Boom and Crazy).

Little known facts

2008-10-30T10:45:00.001-07:00

The top Fantasy Players for each position are listed below:
You may be surprised by what you read.

The top QBs are:
Rivers at 22 points per game
Brees at 21 points per game
Rodgers at 21 points per game
Nothing surprising about that.

However...

The top WR are actually Anquan Boldin (17 points per game) and Steve Smith (14 points per game). Santana Moss (Yahoo #1) is only averaging 12 points per game and Roddy White (Yahoo #2) is averaging 13 points per game.

The top RBs are listed as Portis (16.5 points) and Barber (15 points per game). But, did you know that Brian Westbrook is averaging 19 points per game and Reggie Bush is averaging 18 points per game?

Do we care about TEs?
Gates and Witten have a commanding lead.
Witten has 9 points per game
Gates has 8 points per game

Kickers, really? If you are still reading and care about this, you are retarded:
But, just in case, here goes:
Yahoo has Nedney and Kasay as #1 and #2 with 9 points per game each.
In fact, it is Carney (10.5 points per game) at #1 and Elam (10 points per) at #2.

DEF?
Chicago, Tennessee, and Yahoo's #1, Tampa Bay (not the Rays).
CHI (13 pts. per)
Tenn (12 pts. per)
TB (11pts. per)

So, with all this nonsense, let's take the top 2 players in each category and see who has the most of these players and if it stacks up against the league rankings.

QB
Rivers - BOHICA
Brees/Rodgers (tied) - Tarheel/Crazy
TE
Witten - BOHICA
Gates - Tarheel
WR
Boldin - formerly with El Conquistador
S. Smith - BOHICA
RB
Westbrook - Tarheel
Bush - BOHICA
K
Carney - BOHICA
Elam - Tarheel
DEF
Chicago - Bluegrass
Tennesse - Bluegrass
(nice job, Blue. That is absolutely worthless)

BOHICA - 5
Tarheel - 4
Bluegrass - 2 (not sure if having 2 defenses in the top 2 really helps you much)
Crazy - 1
El Conquistador - 1

Nothing Surprising here (sorry Steve, I know you are trying to attain the level of Tarheel and BOHICA)!

Retraction Statement from the Press

2008-10-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

This blog must officially apologize to Butt Muncher for it's incredibly idiotic comments about Steven Jackson. Our writers for the article "Bonehead Moves of the Week" not only were wrong, they are not even our writers. Shown above, this brother and sister combo failed to do adequate research on the Ram's Steven Jackson.

Steven Jackson is a Bad A and shall never ever have the label "sucks" attached to his name again.
If 160 rushing yards and 3 touchdowns does not deserve an apology, I don't know what does.

Let me repeat, Steven Jackson DOES NOT SUCK and we are so, so sorry.

For the record, it is Butt Muncher's team that sucks, not Steven Jackson.

Bonehead Moves of the Week: please vote

2008-10-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

Listing ALL managers, here are their bonehead moves for week 6:

Tarheel Supertramp decides to go with Matt Jones as his receiver. Seriously? Matt Jones, that is your best option for Chambers being out? We'll see how that works out.

SS Minnow Steve: Just because you have 1 player who is probably, 5 players who are questionable and 1 who is out does not mean you have to go all little league on us and make sure that everyone has a chance to play. Starting 3 injured players is not necessary. Soon, you are going to request that we stop keeping score, you left-winged bonehead liberal.

The Italian Duembstro: Your opponent, Scuba Steve, for some reason believes that Ronnie Brown will score 5 touchdowns again in a game. Guess what, it won't happen. Oh, and Dave, guess what else? Deangelo Williams is not going to do it again either. What a bonehead move.

Yellow Piss: His genius has decided to go with only 2 receivers this week, no defense, and no tight end. You made a great trade, but what the? Oh, I get it, you feel bad because you are 4-1 with a 2-3 team? You're not a bonehead, you're just feeling guilty.

Crazy: Is this what you thought of this morning when you woke up? "I have the second highest fantasy point producer on my team and I think he needs to warm the bench a little bit." Did Aaron Rodgers miss a practice or something? Are you punishing him for some unknown reason? Dude, seriously?

Bluegrass Combo Meal: Uhhhh, I don't know how to tell you this, but Devin Hester is a kick returner.... He doesn't really play offense. In fact, the team he is on doesn't really play offense, you bonehead idiot.

Donkey Munchers: Hey bonehead, Steven Jackson sucks! Translation: Steven Jackson sucks!

El COCKY Stador: Guess what, Hasselbeck and Boldin, really? Did you know that Matt is not under center this week and that Boldin is dead! What a bonehead move.

Ka Boom Boom: Why not start all 5? You have 5 questionable players on your team. You realize that questionable means game time decision, right? That means about a 50/50 chance that they play. So, why did you start 80% of your injured players? Oh, I know, boneheads suck at math.

BOHICA: Santana Moss did not score one point last week and he will start. Am I a bonehead, too?

Week 4: Battle of the Staches

2008-09-21T21:54:00.000-07:00

In the Blue (grass) corner, weighing in at 1.3 ounces, and pubic in color, we have Mr. Pedophile himself. He has had a long run of consecutive knock outs and has a current record of 16 - 0 with the consecutive KO streak at 13. Of course, he only will take on little kids so it doesn't seem fair.

He learned to fight while in prison serving a term for inappropriate facial hair touching of 24 year old man. He gave the jury only one defense? He said:

"He looked so young for his age! I couldn't believe someone that young could grow facial hair. I thought he was 12!"

And here he is and without further ado (not adieu)...

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MR. PEDOPHILE!!!!!

Mr. Pedophile seen here after having just exited the shower with a 7 year old little girl moustache...

And, his challenger (BOHICA), weighing in at a hefty 4.7 ounces (it must be the color that weighs so much) and with no record to speak about, wearing a Fu Manchu style, we have "Fire."

In fact, we don't know how Fire even got a match with Mr. Pedophile. This is like a Heavyweight fighting a rookie Welterweight. Not sure how these 2 got put together in the same ring. Maybe because he has ties to Anton La Vey who is also notorious for wearing a Fu Manchu. Don't know who Anton La Vey is? Well, now is the time to google him. Either way, with La Vet on his side, I'm not sure if Mr. Pedophile will have a chance.

But to be honest, I wold have though La Vey would be pulling for the pedophile... Anyway, here you have it:

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FIRE!
"I'm too sexy for my stache, too sexy..."

Would you belive that these 2 guys served their missions together? Thank goodness they were never companions. Or even saw each other on their missions....

By the way Mr. Pedophile... You know what BOHICA stands for? I bet you would like it very much.

Bend Over (Mr. Pedophile), Here It Comes AGAIN!

Want to Post to this Blog?

2008-09-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

If you do, and you have are a registered user with Google, please add a comment to this post and list your email address so that I can add you as a publisher.
Thank you
Jake

Michael Turner's Hall of Justice?

2008-09-10T04:48:00.000-07:00

This week, in week one, the opening day of fantasy football 2008 was a surprsie. The former famous comic book artist, Michael Turner, most commonly known for the Teen Titans series, had a stellar start to this year's journey to being the best of the best.

Let's face it, it is hard to argue with the company that Mr. Turner keeps.

In fact, at this point, even after only one week, Mr. "comic book" Turner is an icon. He should go down with all the other one name superstars like Madonna and Beyonce.

We can continue to call him Mr. "Comic Book" Turner, but does he deserve the name of just "Michael?" Let's look at some of his posisble rivals.

Michael Myers:

While this is a scary individual, he does not have the blazing speed that "comic book" has. Have you ever seen any of his movies? He can't even run out of a fire. He just walks out like nothing is happening. However, it would be kind of nice to have a guy that no one can ever take down.

Mike Myers:

Austin Powers

The Love Guru

Shrek

The Cat in the Hat

Wayne

and Charlie Mackenzie

I'm not sure "Comic Book" can compare to this.

Farenheit 9/11, Sicko, Bowling for Columbine. The Michael responsible for these should not even be mentioned.

However, how can we forget an individual who gives us hits such as "Dock of the Bay," "Time, Love, and Tenderness," and "When a Man Loves a Woman?" This is the ultimate Michael of all Michaels.

So, to sum up, Michael Turner remains known as "Comic Book" and Mr. Bolton retains the nickname of "Michael." Sorry Mr. Turner, but who can argue with that beautiful hair.

"...just look at me, if you were a woman, wouldn't you want some of this?"

Fantasy Football kicks of with... Jesus?

2008-08-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, after donating $20 to the cause and thinking that we have just gambled our salvation away, here, we see that football is ok, as long as our kids are involved and are wearing proper protection.

We held the draft on Thursday night at Rodney's house and all went well until Kilgore thought it was a good idea to take the liberal arts major, Regge Wayne in the first round. Did you know that liberal arts is defined as a degree in "general knowledge?" So, your first round draft pick received a degree in generally nothing. Nice one Kilgore (or Boom Boom).

This was ok, since his team is not named after a deadly substance. Yellow snow? Really Quinton? At least you got Marvin Harrison in the 5th round. Wow, what a steal!

Hey El Conquistador (Matt), what team will Rudi Johnson play for? Yeah, I'm not sure either.

Kevin Curtis was quoted as saying (referring to his groin area) "I've had issues down there since my St. Louis days." Hey Bluegrass Beck, what the crap does that mean?

Needless to say, this ought to be a wonderful year, as long as people don't quit like last year.

Quitters Suck!

SO STRONG, MATT!!!!

I'm sure no one cares what I think, but here is my prediction for this years winners, losers, and quitters...

I will win, of course, so, here is how the rest of the league will round out:

Scuba Steve will not be stopped with the powerhouses of LT, Fitzgerald and Gay Rice: 2nd

Crazyshoe looks good with the triple threat of Bray Edwards, Chad and Andre Johnson. Oh, and, of course, the Giants defense with their sack attack: 3rd

Donkey Ralph should do well since he did not take a single Redskin. Good job RB: 4th

Tarheel Superman, are you kidding me? Jabar? Is that Kareem? Who is that guy, anyway... 5th

Snow Piss, I would love to say something else, but Marvin Harrison in the 5th round? What a steal! 6th

I was going to put Maestro Dave at dead last because he is a rookie and his team sucks. Then I noticed that he drafted Laveranues Culpepper. You could sneak out: 7th

Kentucky Bluebeck, 2 mormons is too much for me: 8th

El ConqMatador, have you seen your starting line up? NFC West? You think you could grab some more players from the worst division in football. This means 9th place for sure.

Since Boom Boom picked up Kurt Warner, I think that he will finish dead last: 10th

GOOD LUCK TO ALL!