Week 4: Battle of the Staches

In the Blue (grass) corner, weighing in at 1.3 ounces, and pubic in color, we have Mr. Pedophile himself. He has had a long run of consecutive knock outs and has a current record of 16 - 0 with the consecutive KO streak at 13. Of course, he only will take on little kids so it doesn't seem fair.

He learned to fight while in prison serving a term for inappropriate facial hair touching of 24 year old man. He gave the jury only one defense? He said:

"He looked so young for his age! I couldn't believe someone that young could grow facial hair. I thought he was 12!"

And here he is and without further ado (not adieu)...

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MR. PEDOPHILE!!!!!

Mr. Pedophile seen here after having just exited the shower with a 7 year old little girl moustache...

And, his challenger (BOHICA), weighing in at a hefty 4.7 ounces (it must be the color that weighs so much) and with no record to speak about, wearing a Fu Manchu style, we have "Fire."

In fact, we don't know how Fire even got a match with Mr. Pedophile. This is like a Heavyweight fighting a rookie Welterweight. Not sure how these 2 got put together in the same ring. Maybe because he has ties to Anton La Vey who is also notorious for wearing a Fu Manchu. Don't know who Anton La Vey is? Well, now is the time to google him. Either way, with La Vet on his side, I'm not sure if Mr. Pedophile will have a chance.

But to be honest, I wold have though La Vey would be pulling for the pedophile... Anyway, here you have it:


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FIRE!
"I'm too sexy for my stache, too sexy..."

Would you belive that these 2 guys served their missions together? Thank goodness they were never companions. Or even saw each other on their missions....

By the way Mr. Pedophile... You know what BOHICA stands for? I bet you would like it very much.


Bend Over (Mr. Pedophile), Here It Comes AGAIN!

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Michael Turner's Hall of Justice?

This week, in week one, the opening day of fantasy football 2008 was a surprsie. The former famous comic book artist, Michael Turner, most commonly known for the Teen Titans series, had a stellar start to this year's journey to being the best of the best.

Let's face it, it is hard to argue with the company that Mr. Turner keeps.

In fact, at this point, even after only one week, Mr. "comic book" Turner is an icon. He should go down with all the other one name superstars like Madonna and Beyonce.

We can continue to call him Mr. "Comic Book" Turner, but does he deserve the name of just "Michael?" Let's look at some of his posisble rivals.

Michael Myers:

While this is a scary individual, he does not have the blazing speed that "comic book" has. Have you ever seen any of his movies? He can't even run out of a fire. He just walks out like nothing is happening. However, it would be kind of nice to have a guy that no one can ever take down.

Mike Myers:

Austin Powers

The Love Guru

Shrek

The Cat in the Hat

Wayne

and Charlie Mackenzie

I'm not sure "Comic Book" can compare to this.

Farenheit 9/11, Sicko, Bowling for Columbine. The Michael responsible for these should not even be mentioned.

However, how can we forget an individual who gives us hits such as "Dock of the Bay," "Time, Love, and Tenderness," and "When a Man Loves a Woman?" This is the ultimate Michael of all Michaels.

So, to sum up, Michael Turner remains known as "Comic Book" and Mr. Bolton retains the nickname of "Michael." Sorry Mr. Turner, but who can argue with that beautiful hair.

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"...just look at me, if you were a woman, wouldn't you want some of this?"